study date, drinking and shopping

PART 1
its been nearly a year of not schooling and studying, so i need to refresh my brain. i had a study date with Kamal at National Library and half way through, we went to SMU to continue study. book closed at 8.30pm and we had our dinner at Funan, KFC. we ate alot and our stomach was bloated. i felt like having a Hoegarden. instead of him not to let me drink, he brought for me a bottle. we chilled out at Esplanade and had a great time talking and laughing with him. eventhough we spent the whole day and night together alone, but yet it's not enough for us and instead we took the last bus back to Tampines and decided to stay up the whole night. we had our supper at coffee shop nearby my place. came along Alam and Aizat coincidentally and joined us. we dont mind at all as long as we are there for each other.

PART 2
Last two days, as promised, Kamal supposed to fetch me from school but school ended early and he just reached home from skating. so i decided to drop by Toa Payoh and had my dinner there. we took the last bus and went back to Tampines again. and again we had our supper at the same coffee shop with Dudd and his girlfriend. while walking to the place where we always chill, he gave me something which no guys have ever give me,it is just for my expenses and shopping. seriously i was shocked and speechless. Apul and Ika tag us along and cabbed to Telepark for our drinking session. gees, it has been ages i never go to that place. open a bottle and few cans of beers. drinking session ends at 6am as Kamal has to rush home and get change to go to work. so every of us cabbed back home.

PART 3
Today, i went out with Ika to bugis to collect our Mac Book and buy something which is on my shop list. with the money that Kamal gave me, i brought for him 3 pieces of boxer and a watch that he lost it before. and as for myself, 3 pairs of undergarments, 2 dresses, 1 long sleeve t-shirt, a side-zip denim jacket and Agnes B tote bag. waahhh!!! dah lame tak shopping babe! and i cant wait for my YSL handbag as what mommy promised me. then we headed back to Tampines to meet Alam and had our dinner at the same coffee shop AGAIN. chilled out at our usual place while waiting for Kamal and Apul to come from work. at 3am, mommy know that Kamal coming over to my place for shower and for his supper. so every of them decided to tag along just for the sake of food. cause they were damn hungry! -__-" i was pity looking at Kamal when he was sleeping and i can see that he is so damn tired. so i just let him sleep on my legs while all of us busy watching movie online at our lappy. everyone went off at 7am and i wakes him up for him to go to work. but instead he text me saying that he went home first to take some stuffs. and here i am now updating what had happened lately. okay, im off to bed now as i have to wake up early for school. today class start 6 and im surpose to meet my classmate at 5.30. so nighty night to me then. =)

first day of school.

Dreams do come true at last. i wanted to further up my studies at Nanyang Poly and i did. Monday was my first day of school. i was walking around the whole school to find my class and i was lost. so i stopped by and sat at the branches. one of my classmate walked pass me and i decided to follow him from behind. haha! i make friends with the two men and sat with them in the lecture room.

oh my, on my first day of school, i'll already stress out! studying, learning and making myself to understand A Maths. and seriously i need a secondary school A Maths exercise book. school ended at 9.30 pm and im off to meet Kamal at Toa Payoh. Actually he have to fetch me from school but due to something, i have to go there instead. we took bus and off we went to Tampines to have our supper and chilled with our friends at PG. okay thats it for my Monday blues.

PS: seriously i miss my Lylie and Hazira like lots.

kamal thingy

For the past three days, continuously, I've been going out to town and stayed out till morning with Kamal and his friends. i accompanied him shopping for his skate stuffs, karaoke-ing and watched him skating at Somerset Skate Park. i had fun on the first day as we went to karaoke at cash studio with his friends. watching and laughing at his friends when they were dancing and fooling around like a monkey. hilarious bro, haha! skate ton with them and making new friends of his. eventhough some of his friends, i already knew. the most irritating part when going out with them is during their "BLACKSHOT" time. oh my, they can just spent hours for that lan game and when he was concentrating on that game, he can just forget bout me. boys duhh, haha! the most unforgetable part but yet funny is when we fell down from his skateboard when he wants to carry me at town. haha! idiot, his friends, Baby and Apul laughing their ass off at us. and lasty, the best part of all, i get to spent the equality time with my dearest Kamal. =) the fact is, eventhough i knew him for the past 3 years, i didn't know that his the person that fun to hang out with, very open minded, i can be myself, never fail to make me laugh, talk craps with him, running around, spank each other's butt, wrestling with each other and never fail to call me baby(aww i like it when he calls me that) and saying to his friends that im his Girlfriend but actaully we are not offically together.

so that three continuosly days, i went out with him, accompanied him and he send me home. at the end of the day, he gave me a call and i started to talk crap with him till he felt sleepy. i just hope that what i have right now never have a ending. i want it to continue till it can. im tired of the things that had happened to me before, so i hope the history never repeat it again.
In life God doesn't give you the people you want. Instead, He gives you the people you need. To teach you, to hurt you, to love you, and make you exactly the way you should be

~finger crossing~

my 19th birthday!

Happy 19th Birthday to me.

Thanks guys for the surprise party and the presents! i really do like it alot.

and Fir, seriously that was my first time a guy brought for me a jewelery and i really appreciate that alot and im gonna wear it. same goes to others. thankx for the wish and everything. i love you guys. the thought that count! eventhough i know that my birthday gonna be like the normal birthday that i've been through, this time round im standing strong and letting go of it without no hestition. the best present that i ever got from Afiz was, he wanna end our relationship on the day itself. he went missing on that day and ending up i saw him on the road at Tampines with a extra helmet with him and he was dressing nice enough to impress a girl. so he dropped by where we celebrate it and i was pretending to act normal infront of my friends cause i dont want to spoil the plan and their effort. after all that, we went off to Bedok Reservior Jetty and sat there with him. we had a big talked and without no doubt, he wants to end our relationship. i kept quite and i told him that i wanna go home. he send me back home and he left without saying anything. but hey its okay. at least i do have my friends around me. losing a friend like him is not worth at all cause after getting to know a person like him, other girls can go crazy and left him but thankx god im too patient bout it but instead i was ditch by him. thanks =)

PS: If you think that you dont want to give it to me as a present in the first place, you shouldn't be too confident to tell me and tell someone that you want it back. buruk siku benar!

AND i decided not to choose either one of them. im not turning back to Taufiq!

Sometimes

Sometimes...
Sometimes I just want the ideal. I want a guy who'll call me late at night just to hear my voice. I want a guy who'll be walking down the street and pick a bunch of flowers to remind me that summer, surf, fun and loving are on their way. I want a guy who'll send me poetry, whether he writes it or quotes it. I want a guy whose idea of a great night out is a secluded spot on a beach, under the stars, or listening to the whisper of trees in the wind, while lying on our backs in the grass. I want a guy who plays sport and who understands that weekends aren't just for parties. I want a guy whose idea of a holiday is escaping the noise of the city, and getting back to basics, not just expensive, pampered, lazy days. I want a guy who'll smile at me, just to see me smile in return. I want a guy who smiles when he sees me holding a child in my arms, so one who checks his back pocket for prophylactics. I want a guy who give those dreamy love songs new meaning. I want a guy who'll keep my photo on his dresser and his wallet. I want a guy who'll make me laugh out loud for no reason, just because life is good because he loves me. I want a guy who sees a beautiful sunset and wishes I was there beside him. I want a guy who believes that friendship comes first, in any relationship. I want a guy who won't tell me to call back later because the footy's on. I want a guy who'll show me respect, even in front of his friends. Even when we're alone. I want a guy who hopes for forever, but lives for each day. I want a guy who'll tell everyone he loves me. I want a guy who knows what I mean, and listens to what I say. I want a guy who loves me with all his heart. I want a guy who wants me.
Sometimes.

My knees start to shake,
When you’re in sight.
My mind is filled with wonder,
My heart with fright.

When will this feeling stop?
When did it start?
How can I listen to my mind,
Without breaking my heart?

I’m so confused.
What should I do?
I can’t think of anything except you and you.

Should I ignore you,
Or just give it time?
I can’t think straight,
My heart controls my mind.

raye with frens!

confused!!!

i know its been quite sometimes i never update. such a hectic life right now. i need to be there for family, Afiz, Taufiq, friends and even for myself. i promised to my mom that im not gonna fool around once school is open and no more late night parties and stuffs. it will only happen on my weekends. so i left like 2 more weeks to enjoy. and i need to prove my dad for the best of me and my behavior just for the sake of me getting my bike lessen and a Vespa for myself. ouhk fine, im the most pampered among my siblings. haha =)

as for now, im completely confused with this two guys. Taufiq have been showing me his best that he already change and wanted to be with me back. he will always give me a surprise visit and thank god when he came over, i was at home. as for Afiz, i do find him a nice sweet guy and his being gentlemen enough of letting me go back to Taufiq. it is not because of sympathy but he is just a nice good person for me, where else, i need to see and observe if Taufiq really change. yes for now i do realise the changes in him. but for how long will he be like that. i just dont want history to repeat back. i do still love Taufiq thou but in this case i can't have the two of them in the same time. i do need to think wisely bout this and not to be regret with my decision. seriously, sometime i just think that i dont want to be with neither the two of them and just be me. i just want to be with my family and friends and just concentrate on my studies and have fun. hey, we only live once. what am i gonna do now? im speechless and brainless. all i ever want now is to be by myself. am i being hesitating on this? please god, show me what is best for me...

basically i left 2 more weeks to have fun and party my ass all out. as im going to poly soon, i have to make my parents proud of me and it is worth of paying the school fees. *my dad just scared if half way thru, i quit school* haha! cut the crap~~ im gonna be a bookworm back and always busy at home study. =)