confused!!!

i know its been quite sometimes i never update. such a hectic life right now. i need to be there for family, Afiz, Taufiq, friends and even for myself. i promised to my mom that im not gonna fool around once school is open and no more late night parties and stuffs. it will only happen on my weekends. so i left like 2 more weeks to enjoy. and i need to prove my dad for the best of me and my behavior just for the sake of me getting my bike lessen and a Vespa for myself. ouhk fine, im the most pampered among my siblings. haha =)

as for now, im completely confused with this two guys. Taufiq have been showing me his best that he already change and wanted to be with me back. he will always give me a surprise visit and thank god when he came over, i was at home. as for Afiz, i do find him a nice sweet guy and his being gentlemen enough of letting me go back to Taufiq. it is not because of sympathy but he is just a nice good person for me, where else, i need to see and observe if Taufiq really change. yes for now i do realise the changes in him. but for how long will he be like that. i just dont want history to repeat back. i do still love Taufiq thou but in this case i can't have the two of them in the same time. i do need to think wisely bout this and not to be regret with my decision. seriously, sometime i just think that i dont want to be with neither the two of them and just be me. i just want to be with my family and friends and just concentrate on my studies and have fun. hey, we only live once. what am i gonna do now? im speechless and brainless. all i ever want now is to be by myself. am i being hesitating on this? please god, show me what is best for me...

basically i left 2 more weeks to have fun and party my ass all out. as im going to poly soon, i have to make my parents proud of me and it is worth of paying the school fees. *my dad just scared if half way thru, i quit school* haha! cut the crap~~ im gonna be a bookworm back and always busy at home study. =)