sad case

You know how sometimes you run into a situation where you know what to do (deep in your heart of hearts, you know) but you're still going to go the opposite way? Even tho you know you're wrong, and bad things may come from what you're choosing to do? When you could just avoid it all by doing what your heart tells you is right?


I have this situation whereby my mind and my heart say differently. Here i am being so confused and a lot of question marks on top of my head. No one can help me this time round. the only me and myself can solve this shit. Being puzzled can only cause me migrain and it feels so sucky. I wish i know what to do next but yet i'm not sure on my decision. i don't want at the end of the day, feeling so regret and distasteful.


Base on my research and google, yes, it is just a feeling. a feeling where it can control our mind physically and emotionally. nowadays my heart beat pumping so fast and it makes me feel so unsecured and uneasy. i just ask for 1 thing that can make me happy all day long. is it hard, being a truthful and honest person? in my 19 years old life till now, I'm still searching for a honesty and trustworthy person. i though he could be the one that I'm looking for among all these billions of people. yes I'm still young to think back but this is who i am. i was grown up in that way.


Sometime, i tell myself to fuck it. fuck with all this shit in my head for a moment. a moment for me to breathe the fresh air and relax my mind. whenever im being ego, the bad side of me appear. a bad side as in me being tough enough to face and feel the pain in it. 'ouch' i swear!

Like I always said,

a lie can breathe into my mouth,

and suck out all that shivers.

love can crawl beneath my skin

and make my heart resist reality.

it whispers “are you lonely?”

I answer, “I have never felt more alone

then when I am in a crowded

room”

I can crawl through the legs of lovers,

through the arms of intertwined lives

on the floor of a party where other girls

find a smile to kiss.

a smile does not find me,

through the legs of the lovers.

on hands and knees I crawl to the exit,

minus a smile

minus a lover.

dont speak anything if you cant prove it. action speak louder than words.
so prove me wrong and your correct. loving you is the best damn thing that i ever across. it is such a waste that we ended it there. do still wanting you. do still loving you. all i ever ask is to make me and our relationship happy and lively. Now you see I never thought you'd be a constant person in my life. And I don't think that you would be. Because I know you'll always love me very much. You are my hero in disguise. i just pray hard that you will soften up your heart and do something about it. But yet things went disaster.









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a poem from my all time favourite writer.
i love expressing my feeling thru music, lyrics and poetry.
and i even write one too.that me! haha!
so enjoy reading it. the below one ouhk. haha!


Rocco By: Algernon Charles Swinburne

...

Time found our tired love sleeping,

And kissed away his breath;

But what should we do weeping,

Though light love sleep to death?

We have drained his lips at leisure,

Till there's not left to drain

A single sob of pleasure,

A single pulse of pain.

Dream that the lips once breathless

Might quicken if they would;

Say that the soul is deathless;

Dream that the gods are good;

Say March may wed September,

And time divorce regret;

But not that you remember,

And not that I forget.

...

Breathe close upon the ashes,

It may be flame will leap;

Unclose the soft close lashes,

Lift up the lids, and weep.

Light love's extinguished ember,

Let one tear leave it wet

For one that you remember

And ten that you forget.